THE LIFE OF BIRDS

If I knew he was the Pemberton Sheperd, I most certainly would not have stabbed him where I did.

But, then again, if I knew he was the Pemberton Sheperd, I wouldn't have bought the ticket to Bitburg, I wouldn't have hit the scientist with my rent-a-car, and, most of all, I wouldn't have been here to begin with.

The day the sugar refinery collapsed, I lost my virginity to Daniel Howser.

I thought it was an epic sign of doom.

If my christian parents found out, they'd send me to a boarding school.

That's why I think I have this ulcer.

To confuse things further, "Christian Parent" also happened to be the temporary name of the organization which sent me to Bitburg to begin with. An organization which, it just so happens, has also been called "The Royal Canadian Gold-Leaf Fan Club" and, inexplicably, the "FBI".

It seemed to change monikers more often than I changed undergarments, which, as of recently can be accurately described as "Once A Week" or "Less".

I'm now 26 and i saw an obituary in the paper one sunday for Daniel Howser. I got in touch with some old friends and they couldn't really tell me how he died. Suicide or abduction. Very unsettling.

I didn't find out anything else. I moved to Lethbridge with hopes of starting a new, unpoliced life. But every person I showed sexual interest in ended up moving away without warning, or suddenly married and became very hostile towards me.

So, once again, I turned to Halifax.

Halifax Nelson, that is. Yes, THE Halifax Nelson. The very same one that postered my tenth grade locker with pictures of scantily clad female wrestlers and screamed "LESBIAN!" if ever I would have the good fortune of entering the gymnasium at the same time that he was practicing his three-point-throw. OH, Halifax Nelson. How I DESPISED Halifax Nelson!

But he was smart in a way that many aren't.

He knew sports statistics.

And everyone knows that a solid knowledge of sports statistics is equivalent to "Mojo". To "Charisma".

Everyone knew - before they even knew they knew - that Halifax Nelson would go far.

Teachers really made an effort for him. If he was doing poorly in their class they would dedicate themselves to catering to his betterment.

I heard that his math teacher assigned the whole class to independent work, sat with Halifax Nelson, and babied him through all the equations.

The lessons always turned to conversation and I heard that Halifax Nelson gave relationship advice to the teacher.

He scored very high, and graduated with honours.

The asian girl hated him for it.

2008-02-02T03:54:00.000-08:00

Pruane2 Rambo Review : This kid says it all, man.
Go see RAMBO.
NOW.

2008-02-01T03:38:00.000-08:00

Full Album Download : The Dreadful Yawns - Rest

This is basically my favorite album of the last year, and it's very hard to find. The link will probably dissappear very soon, but i hope you like it!

2008-02-01T02:56:00.000-08:00

The Monks - We Do Wie Do

When my dad first saw my bachelor suite three years ago, i played this song, and, magically instead of telling me i was a filthy slob he said "Hey, who's this band?"

2008-02-01T02:42:00.000-08:00

Hologram - Blazey Storm

This just sounds good to me. Something about the way it sounds just makes me want to actually go to the store and buy the whole cd or something. I guess that makes it good, right?

2008-01-28T01:42:00.000-08:00

Full Album Download : Blood On The Wall - Liferz

Apparently, this band sucks live. But, it doesn't matter now because they have a really great new album so we can all just listen to it in the comfort of our stinky apartments.

2008-01-27T23:04:00.000-08:00

Rhymefest - Build Me Up (feat.ODB)

ODB feat. Macy Gray - Don't Go Breakin' My Heart

2008-01-23T04:48:00.000-08:00

The Valentines - Still the One

I can't really tell if i think this song is irritating or not. I think it has something to do with my awesomely and forbiddingly intense fear of being gay.

2008-01-23T03:49:00.000-08:00

Andrew Bird - The Water Jet Cilice

2008-01-23T03:35:00.000-08:00

The Dynamics - Seven Nation Army

I hate covers, but this doesn't count because it's rad and that's all i have to say.

2008-01-23T01:45:00.000-08:00

Full album download : Yeasayer - All Hour Cymbals

Full album download : Beach House - Devotion

Goodbye, winter blues.. you asshole.

2008-01-19T01:59:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time was country called Yugoslavia. We had second best rock scene in Europe. Now it's time to remember one of the great singles. You think so? Enjoy it!!!

Radio - Kuj, kuj, udri dok je vruće (1980)

2008-01-17T03:12:00.001-08:00

The Bobbettes - I shot Mr. Lee

2008-01-17T03:07:00.001-08:00

Nose Bleed Island & The Blood Island Society - Lazy Dreams With Susie Sue

2008-01-17T03:02:00.000-08:00

Donovan - I love my shirt

2008-01-17T02:07:00.000-08:00

TP Orchestre Poly-Rythmo - Hwe Towe Hun

2008-01-10T02:50:00.001-08:00

Up All Night - The Boomtown Rats

2007-11-03T08:27:00.000-07:00

metronomy - trick or treats

2007-09-03T23:03:00.000-07:00

Numbers : Too Cool To Say Hi

2007-09-03T22:48:00.000-07:00

The Buckingham Group : Dulce Viajera (Sweet Hitchhiker)

2007-09-01T13:22:00.000-07:00

Liars : Freak Out

2007-08-15T05:09:00.000-07:00

Full Album Download : Blockhead - Uncle Tony's Coloring Book

2007-08-15T04:49:00.001-07:00

Here's a nice song by Townes Van Sandt. "If I Needed You":

A Townes Van Sandt song awesomely covered by Devendra Banhart, "Colorado Girl":

Which, it just so happens, reminded me of this classic by Donovan, "Colours":

If you want to download any of these, it's easy. just do a quick search on

The Hype Machine

2007-08-08T14:44:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, my watch stopped ticking. I stopped wearing it shortly thereafter. Weeks later I wondered where I had put my watch. It seemed to be lost, but it didn't bother me. It had stopped ticking. Present day. Upon flushing my toilet I noticed that it seemed to be plugged. It bothered me when this happened because i do not have a plunger. It also bothered me because a few days ago some new neighbors moved in next door.
The first day they moved in, the fuses that allow electricity to flow into my apartment stopped working. The fuses are old, they look like small lightbulbs, and cost 2 dollars each. I still haven't figured out which one connects to my kitchen, and I can't ask my landlord because i still haven't paid rent. All of the corn in my freezer is officially inedible.
And now, here i am with this toilet.
I began stabbing my toothbrush into the toilet hole with great force. I was surprised to find that there seemed to be something blocking the way. This should not have surprised me for obvious reasons. I tried to gouge it out and when i did a wave of terror went through me like shit through a chinese goose.
There, hanging on the end of my toothbrush was the watch.
Something was different about it. It took me a moment to figure out what. Then it hit me.
It was ticking.

Ellen Mcilwaine : Higher Ground

2007-08-05T21:37:00.000-07:00

Dana Brown : Stalking Creeping Terror

Some guy named Dana Brown went to India and recorded an entire album of crap like what you hear above. Can you imagine listening to the whole thing? I totally can.

2007-08-05T14:54:00.001-07:00

The Ohsees : It Killed Mom

2007-08-04T04:53:00.000-07:00

Can : I Want More and More

2007-08-04T03:04:00.000-07:00

MIA : Paper Planes

2007-07-30T04:02:00.000-07:00

Albums by The Shocking Blue are hard to find, and if you do manage to find one, it will cost you way too much moneys. 20 DOLLARS!

The Shocking Blue : Send Me a Postcard

The Shocking Blue : Love Buzz

2007-07-30T03:26:00.000-07:00

Book of Love : Boy

and check out the cover version by The Life of Birds, below :

Get your own playlist at snapdrive.net!

2007-07-30T03:23:00.000-07:00

Wire : The 15th

2007-07-30T02:16:00.000-07:00

Pete Dello : It's What You've Got

2007-07-30T01:05:00.000-07:00

Baby Huey : Hard Times

2007-07-30T00:51:00.000-07:00

Henri Salvador : Mais non, mais non

2007-07-29T05:32:00.000-07:00

The new Black Lips album.
Full Album Download:

The link is dead, when i find a new one, i'll replace it.

2007-07-25T21:39:00.000-07:00

The Stranglers : No More Heroes

2007-07-25T21:27:00.000-07:00

The Clash : Guns of Brixton

2007-07-25T16:22:00.000-07:00

The Rubettes : Sugar Baby Love

2007-07-25T16:15:00.000-07:00

Spoon : The Ghost of You Lingers

2007-07-22T02:19:00.000-07:00

Bill Boyd and the Cowboy Ramblers : Blue Danube Waltz

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2007-07-22T01:59:00.000-07:00

Talkshow Boy : I Know a Girl Who Spots Foxes

2007-07-22T01:43:00.000-07:00

Ersel Hickey : Goin' Down That Road

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2007-07-21T03:41:00.000-07:00

Full Album Download

Black Lips - Los Valientes Del Mondo Nuevo

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2007-07-21T03:21:00.000-07:00

Sicilian Orchestra : L'Allegro Fischietto

2007-07-21T03:14:00.000-07:00

Calvin Harris : Colours

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2007-07-21T02:56:00.000-07:00

Yaz : Only You

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2007-07-21T02:47:00.000-07:00

Peanuts : Mothra

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2007-07-21T02:44:00.000-07:00

Liars : It Fit When I Was a Kid (Crystal Castles Remix)

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2007-07-21T02:31:00.000-07:00

Buffalo : Are You Sure Hank Done it This Way

Buffalo were that rare beast, an English country and western band operating out of West Lincolnshire. I originally bought this album for the cover and those retina-burning outfits the guys are wearing. That combination of turquoise polyester flares and vests trimmed with pink satin, over yellow satin puff-sleeve shirts was too good to resist! However, any heterosexual man wearing such a get-up back in 1978 in un-cosmopolitan Lincolnshire would surely have been lynched. The back cover features the band members' heads done up in Native American war paint, clumsily superimposed on cave paintings of (you've guessed it) buffalos. One appears to be emerging from out of one of the beast's back passages. It just doesn't get any better than this!

2007-07-21T02:27:00.000-07:00

Von Sudenfed : The Rhinohead

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2007-07-21T02:13:00.001-07:00

Vampire Weekend : Oxford Comma

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2007-07-21T01:24:00.000-07:00

datA : morphosis

DatA is a 21-year old Frenchman caught in the electro-house paradigm, but that doesn't mean that his production skills aren't on point. With tracks in playlists from Justice to Guns 'N' Bombs, this whiz-kid is causing a serious stir. "Morphosis" is the synth-solo answer to your banger prayers.